Beyond PTSD to Soul Injury
By Chaplain Scott Jimenez
“If there is meaning in life at all, then there must be meaning in suffering.” — Victor Frankl
Many Veterans with PTSD feel guilt; fewer feel shame. Again, the difference between guilt and shame is mainly one of doing or having been done against: in guilt, one is acting, “I have done wrong” (deed); in shame, one is being acted upon, “I am wrong” (core identity).
A Veteran told me about killing in combat, which he was able to move past. The problem was when he killed not in combat, but as a personal matter. This was something that violated everything he held dear, his own moral center. Because of this violation, he felt intense shame. The definition of PTSD does not fully cover this. The combat killing resulted in guilt; the murders resulted in shame. The guilt was an expression of PTSD; the shame, an expression of a violation of how he saw himself.
There are psychological or theological terms that cover this concept of a violation of one’s moral center, namely “moral injury” and “spiritual injury.” The problem with both of these terms is not the denotation, but the connotation. These terms have negative baggage. Veterans often tell me that they do not have a moral problem or that they are not very spiritual. The term “soul injury” seems to hit the mark all the way around. Deborah Grassman (www.soulinjury.org) defines “soul injury’’ as “the un-mourned grief and unforgiven guilt that sometimes lingers in war’s aftermath.”
Un-mourned grief refers both to what was done (an act) and the unnamed and often unrecognized grieving due to the loss of self-image (a feeling). The damage done has destroyed the previous self-image, “I’m not who I thought I was.” The search centers on a new identity, “Who am I now?” This is the search for a new normal and one’s place in the new normal, as discussed previously.
A Veteran told me, “My past defines me.” I usually counter with, “If your past defines you, your past confines you.” Bring that past into the present. We are more than what we do. We are more than our failures or our successes. We are even more than the sum of our parts. And we have a choice and a voice in who we are to become.
For Veterans in combat, the grieving over what was done can focus on intrusive memories that are not restricted to dreams. Veterans tell me they see faces of those they killed, and “they are always with me.” Some feel these constant companions are a penance they must endure. This is tied, inseparably, to unforgiven guilt. As discussed previously, unforgiven guilt can be focused on others, on God, but most frequently, especially in shame, on self.
II Samuel 11: 14-17 tells the very personal story of one who suffered from PTSD and soul injury. King David not only was an adulterer, but a murderer, under the guise of combat. He wanted Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah. As King he had written a letter to Uriah’s commander. Verse 15 says, “He had written in the letter, saying, ‘Place Uriah in the front line of the fiercest battle and withdraw from him, so that he may be struck down and die.’” And it happened. But, he found out, in a very dramatic way, that God knew about it, no matter how hard he tried to hide it or forget it. There was a consequence for both David and Bathsheba: their child died.
How can David ever reconcile him
self, and his actions, to God? The only way is to present his sins before God, without excuse, full of remorse, regret, and repentance. The Bible later tells us about the restored relationship between David and God. In I Kings 15:5, David is held up as an example of faith and holiness, “David did what was right in the sight of the Lord, and had not turned aside from anything that He commanded him all the days of his life, except in the case of Uriah the Hittite.”
David ultimately accepts God’s forgiveness. In the process, he forgives himself, accepting God’s grace. This process of looking at our experiences of soul injury through the lens of God’s unmerited mercy and grace is called re-framing. The past is brought into the present and filtered for use in the future. What better vehicle for this than the Church?
The Church is made up of wounded healers, offering healing to others who are wounded, in relationship. That is the key: all healing is relational, first to God, then to one another.
Am so grateful someone is addressing PTSD at the seminary. One’s soul does get injured and healing is a process. I feel confident there are women at ATS who suffer also, in the shadows of a deeply personal war. I hope for a venue where their brokenness can be uncovered. Blessings on your very strategic ministry.
Thank you for this article, Chaplain Jimenez. I am a grad (MDiv) of Asbury (1984) and just put together a basic chaplaincy training course for our National Association of Christian Ministers (nacministers.org), and if you would be willing, I would like to include your article as printed here as a reading for that section of our chaplaincy training that is about ministering to traumatized folks. Would that be OK with you (will attribute the article to you & the Asbury Alumni Link). Thanks for publishing this. – Rev Rodger Niemeier
Brilliant! Helpful! I’ve been trying to understand and apply Soul Injury within a Biblical framework. This piece is clear and provides a springboard to further study. Thank you!